Letters to my sons
A collection of thoughts and lessons I've learned along the way for my little men,
and anyone else that's interested.
My sons,
One of the biggest joys of my life is the ability to read, and the immense trove of literature that I have access to. It has immeasruably enriched my life and is very easily the single most important factor of making me the person that I am today. It has the ability to stretch your mind, to transport you to places you’ve never been, to challenge your beliefs, and to bring new perspective.
Reading lifts the spirit. It brings flight to the soul. It gives wings to our minds, and allows us to unleash the full potential of the human experience.
It is arguably one of the most impactful technological advancements in our world history. Combined with the printing press and mass publication/distribution, it has enabled the thoughts and ideas of the great thinkers of each era to be shared and consumed by most of the world’s population, in their lifetime and those that followed.
All of the greats in our world read. Tech and non-tech giants alike attribute much of their success to reading:
- Bill Gates reads ~50 books a year
- Mark Zuckerberg launched “A year of books” where he challenged everyone to read a book every two weeks
- Elon Musk famously said that he “was raised by books. Books, then my parents”
- Oprah’s Book Club is arguably one of the most influential movements in the world
- Warren Buffett said that “the more you learn, the more you’ll earn”
- Nelson Mandela said that “one child, one teacher, one book, one pen can change the world”
And yet reading across our world is declining.
Twenty years ago, 51% of American children ages 8-18 reported that they “greatly enjoyed reading” or “got a lot of enjoyment from reading”. That number dropped to 34% in 2025. In 2011, 79% of Americans said they read at least one book per year. That number dropped to 64% in 2024. The numbers vary slightly in the UK and the EU, but follow a similar trend.
What’s happening?
A belief of inherent value
Our current era of raising people has created a batch of incredibly self-confident youngsters, many of whom have been taught all their lives that they are unique and invaluable simply because they are who they are. We have taught them that their lives are interesting and worth broadcasting, that their thoughts are important and worth sharing on a global scale, and that their opinions, regardless of how weakly formed, have value.
This has led to an epidemic of shallow living, of people who are content to talk about themselves, events, and activities, who shy away from the deeper, richer, topics in life. This in turn results in a generation who experiences the world in the frame set by the likes of their social media icons and models. A life that is constantly looking for post-worthy activities is one focused on and consumed by the superficial, and therefore does not seek to nor feel the need to read.
I suppose if you’re reading this, that isn’t you.
Habitual book reading
Something that the monks, religious leaders, and philosophers figured out centuries ago is that habits are important. That’s an understatement. Habits are paramount. Not only because they help us achieve their goals, but because regular exposure to something changes the way we think about that thing.
We’ve all heard sayings like “fake it till you make it”, “practice makes perfect”, and “slow and steady wins the race”. This wisdom comes in many different sayings and teachings, but is essentially the same: by doing a thing regularly, you will become someone who does that thing regularly.
C.S. Lewis said it best in Mere Christianity:
“When you are behaving as you loved someone, you will presently come to love [them].”
The obvious question then, is this: what does the habit of reading produce in a person?
- The practice of different perspectives. Regardless of whether you’re reading fiction, non-fiction, or anything in between, the daily habit of picking up a book and actively immersing yourself in a perspective other than your own is immensely valuable.
- The practice of stretching your mind. A healthy book list stretches your mind and your beliefs as you consider different topics and areas that you would naturally not encounter. Because we’re reading well-researched, well thought-out works by people who have spent their careers dedicated to the study of the topic as opposed to (ahem) random musings from an average mind, we can be sure that our minds will be stretched by the perspectives of the greats in each of their fields.
- The practice of developing a rich inner life. The more we read, the richer our inner life becomes. We become adept at building cathedrals in the sky, at exploring the vastness of space with intricate detail and nuance, at delving into the psyche of our favorite literary characters, and at living - no, feeling - every thoughtful and beautiful word of poetry in our minds. Books open our minds to the wealth to be found within and allow us to develop a rich thought life.
Framing our experiences
These in turn shape the way we experience the world. Instead of standing on the edge of the Thames wondering how to take the best selfie of the Tower Bridge, we ought to stand and admire the majesty of the human spirit that built and maintained such beautiful things. Instead of standing at the edge of the Grand Canyon wondering how to frame ourselves in a photo to capture the best angle of our face while still capturing the canyon, we ought to stand and be blown away by the awe of such a natural beauty and grand vista. Instead of figuring out how to capture a selfie with our faces lit enough but not too much so that the northern lights appear in the background clearly with us, we ought to be contemplating the celestial wonders that allow such beauty to be experienced.
Reading expands our minds, causes us to introspect, to extrospect, to ponder deeply about the mysteries of our world and our galaxy, to question and to examine life, and to wrestle with our purpose for being. It frames our travels, our conversations, our relationships, and our interactions. It gives us a variety of perspectives by which we can derive meaning from the experiences of our lives.
So please, my sons, read. I implore you to read. Not just my thoughts (although I am honored that you have decided to do so) or the thoughts of our contemporaries, but the thoughts of the greats. Read the classics to appreciate the beauty and honor of a bygone era. Read fiction to expand your imagination. Read philosophy to deepen your thought. Read biographies to increase your empathy and understanding of other perspectives. And above all, share all the way that the things you read have changed your life with those around you.