Letters to my sons
A collection of thoughts and lessons I've learned along the way for my little men, and anyone else that's interested.
Posts tagged with #Appearances
My son,
As much as we'd occasionally like life to run entirely on our schedule, the reality is that it doesn't and it won't. And so this entry, while on the one hand is about being dressed well, on the other hand is really about being prepared for the unexpected to happen, and to be able to gracefully handle those situations.
The face value of the title here is very true - you should dress every day like you're going to meet the love of your life. Because who knows, you just might meet her some day, and you'd ideally want your appearance to give you the confidence to be on your best foot. Like we discussed last time, appearances matter, if only to give you an extra boost of confidence - and every man knows that when you first see that face, first encounter that angel that you'll want to spend the rest of your days with, every ounce of confidence is going to be welcomed.
The underlying point here is that life won't go according to your schedule.
That's not to say you shouldn't plan - no, definitely make your plans, and lay out the course that you want to take. But be flexible on that course. Often, the best times in life - the most memorable, the most impactful, the most exhilarating - will come when you least expect it. And if you're dressed and ready for the occasion, you set yourself up for a much better experience.
And so my advice here is to be ready for that. When you're ready and expecting the unexpected, you're able to take things in stride and handle the situation with more grace. When you're ready for life to throw its curveballs at you, you're best equipped to knock that sucker if not out of the park, than at least out to the right field corner for a double. So be prepared. Be dressed for the occasion. Plan, but be flexible. Let life take you where it will.
And who knows, you might just meet the love of your life along the way.
My son,
There are all sorts of proverbs out there about what's on the inside being what counts, that appearances shouldn't matter, that you should never judge a book by its cover, that what you look like isn't as important as who you are on the inside. All of these proverbs - while motivating and comforting - shouldn't be taken entirely literally.
Make no mistake; appearances matter.
I don't mean that they are of central importance; no, in that respect, I agree with those proverbs. What's on the inside is more important. That's why we have all these talks about character, about integrity, about honor; no, without a doubt, what's on the inside is more important.
However, that doesn't mean that appearances don't matter. Here are a few reasons why.
- First impressions stick. Whether we like it or not, not only do our first impressions of others generally stick, but certainly their first impression of us does. And unfortunately, much of that first impression will be based on appearance.
- Being underdressed puts you at a disadvantage. If not in your eyes, than certainly in theirs. Being underdressed demonstrates to others a lack of care at best, a lack of respect at worst.
- When you look your best, you feel that way too. When you take care to look presentable and professional, it sets you in the right frame of reference to feel presentable and professional, and it gives you the confidence to behave as such.
That last one is the real kicker. When you are confident in your appearance, you don't have to spend energy being worried about whether or not you look like you fit; you are confident that you appear like you do. And that gives you the confidence to actually do so.
And that's the real reason appearances matter. Not because they should be used as a yard stick or as a means of judgment, but because they empower you to feel your best. They give you confidence, and put you on an even playing field so that you can be the best version of you there is. And that's not a bad thing.